Surviving the Holidays

I know, I know. This post should have been pre-holiday, but since I'd not had to "survive" the holidays as a bariatric patient, this will have to do. Perhaps I can re-post it next year in November. If I remember. Which isn't likely.

It wasn't too awfully hard. We had eight people for dinner and it was fun cooking for all of them. We had a delicious top round roast (marinated with night before with olive oil, rosemary, garlic, Greek seasoning and salt and seared the next morning before hopping into the crock pot) with potatoes and carrots, that versatile cole slaw salad with ramen noodles, mashed potatoes, melt-in-your mouth rolls by Sister Shubert, fruit salad, apple pie and pecan pie. I also made my famous strawberry soup and monkey bread for breakfast, along with Eggbeater omelets and grilled potatoes.

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: one small bite of a yummy concoction Ron found in Midwest Living (toasted English muffin topped with organic peanut butter, very unorganic bacon, bananas and a sprinkle of cinnamon - sounds odd, but it's really tasty), one bite of a grilled potato (about 1/16 of a baby yukon gold), one fingerful of the strawberry soup (couldn't even be considered a sip), one small bite of monkey bread and an Eggbeater omelet with green onions, diced ham and mozzarella cheese.

Lunch: about two ounces of roast beef with gravy, one bite of mashed potatoes and gravy, three baby carrots, two forkfuls of the cole slaw salad, one bite of a roll with a teeny bit of butter on it and two slivers of apple with a 1/2 inch piece of crust.

It was all REALLY yummy and even those tiny bites of the "bad" stuff were enough to satisfy me. I gave most of the bad stuff away that day and threw what was left over away. We kept the roast and veggies and have been having wonderful meals of stew. The gravy was made with beef broth and flour so it's pretty lo-cal (I use a gravy separator to get rid of all the fat).

I have to admit that adding those few carbs got me to thinking what other ways I could sneak some into my meals, but I've taken the pledge to stay as carb-free as I can until it's legal (month five, which will be April). It's not easy, but it helps that I don't really get hungry at all. In between meal hunger pains would usually lead me to seek out carbs, but since that doesn't happen, it's not as bad as it could be.

Next time on The Egg and Eye . . . The Heartbreak of Dining Out

Going, Going . . . Not So Much

I'm a bit anxious about discussing this next subject, but this blog is supposed to be all about the challenges and rewards of gastric bypass surgery. So . . .

It's . . . constipation. It's caused by not eating enough fiber. Why don't I eat enough fiber? Because I can't. Most fiber is hard to digest and my baby stomach can't handle it. Eventually I'll be able to eat more fruits and veggies, but right now my diet is pretty much solid protein. And because I'm only eating about a quarter cup of food per meal there's just not a lot of stuff going in, which directly impacts how much comes out.

Not having had much trouble with this condition in the past obviously did not prepare me for this side effect at all. Holy, holy moley. The first few weeks were fine. Then I noticed it had been a couple of days since my colon had seen any action. So I brought out the Phillips Milk of Magnesia (PMOM). It is one of the oddest tasting remedies I've ever taken. It's not a taste or consistency issue. It's the slight aftertaste of tuna fish that kind of baffles me.

After my tuna-y dose at bedtime I awoke the next day with great anticipation. I'll spare you all the gory details but I felt like I was giving birth to a watermelon. Multiple false alarms. Lots of effort, little or no results. Constant pressure. Finally . . . early the next day - success! I felt like doing a little Macarena-esque dance in celebration of my accomplishment, but instead I just told everyone in my family. They were so pleased.

Since then, it's been hit and miss. Not nearly the horrible discomfort associated with the first time, but nonetheless one more thing I must monitor. It's extremely embarrassing how excited I get when I do my thing without the aid of PMOM. I'm like a three-year old: "Look what I did! Look what I did!" Ron has been very supportive and puts gold stars on my chart on the refrigerator. Ok, we really don't have a chart, but it might be a good idea seeing how my memory ain't what it used to be. Maybe I should get M&M's like Jon and Kate's sextuplets. Alas! No chocolate allowed. I guess gold stars it shall be.

The Grieving Process

As part of the qualifying process for my surgery I spent several hours with a psychologist examining the reasons behind the circumstances that led to my desire to have my stomach radically reshaped and my plumbing rewired. I also read a ton of books. Books about the actual surgery itself. Books by people who'd had the surgery. Cookbooks. Books about why people eat the way they do. I also slowly modified my diet to mimic what it would look like post-surgery (and lost 4o pounds). Cut out carbs. Soda. Sweets. Dr. Sabapathy (my psych) told me I was a model patient - in the top one percent (with regard to pre-surgery weight loss).

So it was a little disheartening when my experience fell short of all my preparation and expectations. I missed eating normal food. I missed COOKING normal food. For the first few weeks I was eating cottage cheese, deli turkey, string cheese . . . not a lot of prep involved. My biggest culinary feat was sauteing some green onions in Pam for my refried beans. I love the chopping, following recipes, adding a bit here and there to spice things up. I didn't realize how much I'd miss the act of getting ready to eat.

And, when I was finally able to branch out and try new things, the meal never lived up to my expectations. For a couple of weeks I dreamed about Thanksgiving. How I'd be able to eat some turkey with a tiny bit of gravy. It was a disaster. The first time I'd gotten nauseous. I had to leave the table and go lie down. Those tiny bites of turkey just didn't want to go down. I suspect I was eating too fast.

I've started cooking things I used to cook, but modifying the recipes to accommodate my small repertoire of allowed foods. When we have chicken quesadillas, I don't have the tortilla or corn. I just have the grilled chicken, some mozzarella cheese and a little salsa and low-fat sour cream. When I make pizza, I just scrape all the toppings off and leave the crust. It's about 80 percent satisfying, which I can live with.

I still grieve my the loss of my former relationship with food. But I'm doing my best to move on - forget the past and look toward the future. It may be a future without ooey gooey, calorie laden food, but it will be a future worth living for.