Before and After

I finally have some before and after shots to post. I hadn't looked at the older pictures in quite a while and I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed. It's an undeniable reminder of what my old life was like, and while it's not always comfortable remembering myself like that, it's a motivator to keep me pushing forward.

The first picture is the straw that broke the camel's back. It was taken in April, 2008. By the end of May I was attending a bariatric seminar and getting the process started. A year ago I was wearing a size 28 and now I'm comfortably wearing a size 10. I'm still losing, but it's slowed down significantly. I can tell it will take some adjustment not to see the numbers going down on the scale. I'll let you know how that goes. Until then . . . ciao.

Half Year Anniversary

I'm celebrating the sixth month anniversary of my surgery by eating a thick slice of chocolate cake, piled high with cream cheese icing. Ha. Just kidding. I'm still following the rules and it's paying off. One hundred fifteen pounds. Forty pre-op, seventy-five post. I can live with that.

Not only am I enjoying a slimmer physique, but I'm now pretty much med-free. My hypertension is gone, my cholesterol is way good and the threat of diabetes is a faint memory. I'm walking five miles a day and eating almost anything I want (except caffeine and obvious sugar and fat). I still can only eat small portions, but that's okay because I'm completely satisfied at the end of a meal. I still have a TON of vitamins that I'm taking, which is fine with me. Just makes me healthier.

My only complaint - still the clothes issue. I've got three pair of khaki pants that I've bought since January that are now too big. I have one pair of jeans and about three t-shirts that actually fit me. I've gone down eight sizes since my surgery and I'm thinking I might shrink a bit more (I was told on Monday that I could possibly lose another 40 pounds, which would put me lower than the weight I was in college! I'll settle for another 20). I keep telling myself that if not having clothes that fit is the biggest "problem" I have, then I should just get over it and be patient. Hmmm. Not my strong suit. But I'll try.

Mama Mia!

Last week was the five month anniversary of my surgery. This was significant because I've been counting the days until I can have pasta again. Only one more month to go. It had been awhile since I'd referenced my SMMC nutrition handbook so I thought I'd check it out to see what I could begin eating in the fifth month. Imagine - just try to imagine - my complete and utter joy when I discovered that pasta was allowed in the FIFTH month, not the sixth!!! And not just pasta - ALL carbs are now allowed. But wait. Before you start doing a clever little dance in my honor, let me state emphatically that carbs are ONLY to be eaten after proteins, veggies and fruits. That amounts to about one or two forkfuls of spaghetti. Is it even worth it? Yes, and here's why. I found a Barilla pasta that's enriched in Omega 3's so two ounces has 10 grams of protein. Add to that an ounce or two of extra lean ground round in the sauce and I can have my proteins AND carbs. How happy am I??? Now you can commence with the dancing.

I admit I'm a bit nervous about adding the carbs back in. They have always been my weakness and I now know that the more carbs you put in, the more you crave them. So I'm cautiously exuberant. But you know what? Just knowing I can have them is satisfaction in itself.

Drumroll, Please . . . .

As of today, March 21, 8:00 a.m. CST, I have lost a total of ONE HUNDRED pounds! In seven months. Forty pounds pre-op, sixty post-op. I'm extremely excited and extremely terrified. Excited because, well, that's a lot of weight. Terrified because I don't want to become complacent (i.e. cocky, because that's what happened last time I lost a bunch of weight). I'm still about 25 pounds from my goal, although I keep changing it. Statistics say that most bariatric bypass patients lose the majority of their weight in the first six months, but may continue to lose for up to eighteen months. So I may change my goal again!

One drawback (if you can call it that) is that my clothes keep falling off. I bought a bunch of stuff from LL Bean a couple months ago and now it's almost all too big. And I've only worn it a couple of times! I feel like a baby, only in reverse. I need to find a resale shop and FAST!

This journey has been really amazing. I was watching a show on Discovery Health about a woman who was having gastric bypass and I realized that even though it's only been four months, the whole surgery and recovery is kind of a blur to me. I kind of remember the hard times and days when I questioned the wisdom of my decision, but those moments have been so few and far between that it's easy to forget them. I've settled into an easy routine that doesn't seem foreign or intrusive or sacrificial and that's such a blessing - a HUGE blessing.

Hallelujah!

Raptor Wings

Last week I went to a seminar sponsored by the Bariatric Center of Kansas City. It's the same seminar I went to last year in May when I was ready to start this wild journey. This time, however, I went as a former patient, a Q&A subject, so to speak.

There were six of us, all women, who had had some version of bariatric surgery. There were a lot of questions about appearance, specifically excess skin. Some of the other women referred to their "bat wings." Well, I might have had bat wings when I was 14. I now have raptor wings. Or better yet, pterodactyl wings! It's pretty sad. I think if I waved them enough I could become airborne. That's just one area where I've got more skin than I need. Next time someone says "Gimme some skin" I'm gonna whip out my scalpel.

I call my behind "elephant ass." Ron just laughs at me, mainly because I think he's secretly agreeing with me and doesn't want to have to lie by saying I'm being ridiculous. But I say it's no laughing matter. I may have mentioned that ten years go I lost 80 or so pounds. I don't remember the elephant ass back then. Maybe it's that my skin has lost a lot of elasticity in those years or maybe it's because I've lost 90 pounds in about seven months (it took about a year to lose the previous 80). Whatever the cause, it's humbling. I know I could get a multitude of tucks to minimize the issue but I'm not sure I want to do that. Besides, I look fine when I have clothes on. And, luckily, I don't have a profession that requires me to bare my bod.

You should ALL be VERY thankful for that.

Pomp & Circumstance

I saw my bariatric psychologist last week and he informed me that I have officially graduated from his care. I'm guessing that's a good thing. He said very complimentary things about the approach I took regarding my weight loss surgery journey, which I appreciated.

I've lost weight before. Lots of it. But this time I have an ace in the hole. Or rather an egg in my abdomen. I also have resolve and fierce determination. I've worked hard (and will continue to put in the requisite energy and effort) to get this weight off - harder than I've ever worked. I've still got about 30-35 lbs I want to lose and I know it will be a battle. I know there will be plateaus. I know I'll get discouraged. But I also know I have success on my side. Eighty-seven pounds of it. Five pant sizes smaller. Thirteen and a half inches off my bust, waist and hips in two months. The ability to nestle in Ron's arms lying on the couch. And other things that would be considered TMI if I shared them . . .

So I've been kicked out of the nest to fend for myself. A year ago I think I would have fallen straight to the ground, flat on my back, gasping for air. Now . . . I think I'll soar.

Stay tuned . . . I'll keep you posted.

A Hard Couple of Days

Ugh. Life's not rosy right now. This week has been a battle of the colon and its reluctance to function properly. I won't bore (or disgust) you with the details. Suffice it to say it's not been pleasant.

And tonight I realized that eating is just not fun/enjoyable anymore. Things that I expect are going to taste wonderful just don't. Yesterday I wanted to go to Bob Evans for breakfast because I wanted something different. I don't know what I was thinking because I can really only eat scrambled eggs. It tasted like rubber. The highlight of the meal was the one bite (seriously, it was just a nibble) of the sourdough toast that came with the meal.

Here's a list of the things that tasted really good to me this week:
- my Eggbeater omelet I have EVERY morning for breakfast
- the homemade soup we made yesterday
- apples

I think I could be satisfied eating my omelet in the morning and an apple for dinner. But then I wouldn't get in my blasted 60-70 grams of protein per day. Oh, the rules!

One of the side effects of the surgery is that your taste buds get out of whack. I'm hoping that reverses itself in time. Until then . . . I think I'm going to be cranky.